Star Wars Mania: Palm Sunday Edition

Quick trip to the beach for Shannon to run a 5k over the weekend. Lots of highlights. Pictures to follow. Briefly:

* As we pull into Starbucks for a pit stop on the return trip, Cordelia says, "Wouldn't it be funny if instead of it being Starbucks it was Starfucks?"

Silence.

She continues: "Get it? Starfox?"

We sighed in relief.

* During the race I had the realization that in a few years, we'll be able to run it all of us, as a family I cannot even tell you how excited this makes me, the idea that the last weekend in March will always be our beach 5k together.

That afternoon, I told Cody that some day soon, we'd all be able to run it together:

Cody: Yeah, and when we do, I'll beat Cordelia.

JVL: [stunned silence]

Cody: I will beat Cordelia, right?

JVL: That's really not the point, buddy. It's not a competition. We do it to have fun together as a family.

Cody: Sure. It's not a competition. But I'll still beat Cordelia, won't I?

* At church on Sunday the kids were fantastically well behaved, even with the 17-minute Gospel reading. But the best moment maybe of the whole weekend came after this section of the reading:

Now on the occasion of the feast he used to release to themone prisoner whom they requested.A man called Barabbas was then in prison along with the rebels who had committed murder in a rebellion.

Upon hearing this, Cody immediately turned to me and whispered in excitement, "Wait--were they in the same rebellion as in Star Wars? Did Jesus know Luke Skywalker?!?"

Sisters, Sisters

It's a good thing I didn't make "more blogging" one of my 2015 resolutions, because … fail. Anyway, just wanted to post a few pictures of my girls, who are really becoming quite good friends. For Emma, the sun rises and sets on Cordelia, which is nice for Cordelia, because Cody is still pretty terrible to her (except when he's being wonderful to her; there is very little space between). 

Sabotage!

As you know, 80s rock is big in the Last household right now, much to my delight. Cordelia's favorite song—and note the irony here—is "It's My Life," by Bon Jovi. A close second is "You Give Love a Bad Name."

So we are, as I type, in the car on the way to the beach for the first time in months. JVL put on "Sabotage" and Emma shrieked, "OH! This is SO rock and ROLL!" Then We put on some Bon Jovi and Emma says, "Oh! You give big love a bad name is my favorite song I've ever SEEN!" Cordelia pipes up, "Me too! Oh! I taught Morgan that song today on the playground! I had her sing it over and over and now she KNOWS it and we sang it so much!"

Morgan, if you'll remember, is Cordelia's hostage special friend. Or at least Cora thinks so; we suspect Morgan has a bit of Stockholm Syndrome going on. Cordelia looks at her as a sweet pet, to the point where she apparently informs their teacher when Morgan needs to use the restroom. Here she is at Morgan's birthday party—Cora in heaven, Morgan a little bewildered. As usual.

I mean, can you picture Morgan saying "Guess what I learned at school today?" and then belting "You Give Love a Bad Name"? Her parents will be so pleased with us.

Star Wars, cont'd

Cody is completely obsessed. All he wants to talk about with me is obscure plot points … and he starts vibrating when the credits come on. Meanwhile, Cordelia "needs" to have Hoppy with her when they watch because "Hoppy is really just not used to the Death Star. Yet. When she's five or six she won't be scared by it." Cody cowers during the Obi-wan and Vader duel. Cora? She kind of digs it.

Lessons from LDP

While watching music videos on Saturday, the kids made a gruesome discovery when we put on a semi-recent live performance by Guns 'n' Roses. Slash, their favorite guitarist, wasn't there.

I explained to them that in the '90s, Axl and Slash had had a falling out, which resulted in Slash quitting the band. I then explained that over the years, everyone had quit or been fired from the band except for Axl. They wanted to know why this was. I explained, in highly generic terms (and avoiding any mention of substance abuse) that, more or less, mo' money, mo' problems. I said that Axl turned out to be kind of a bully who didn't listen to the input of his colleagues and who insisted on doing everything his own way. Cody's highly developed sense of justice kicked in. He now hates Axl and says that the revamped lineup of GNR is clearly inferior.

Tonight, Cody wanted to revisit the subject at some length. He wanted to know about the Beatles and I explained it was a similar dynamic. (I did not mention Yoko.) I said that this often happens with bands because typically one member is the driving creative force, which often leads to fracturing of the unit. Here's roughly how it proceeded from there:

Cody: When I'm the leader of a band, I'm going to be the lead singer and the lead guitarist and the songwriter.

JVL: That's great; then you'll be the leader of the group.

Cody: And maybe I'll hire Axl just so I can bully him and fire him so he can see how that feels.

JVL: I suppose you could.

Cody: And I will be a great leader. And I won't bully people.

JVL: That's wonderful. A great leader leads by building consensus. That means that he listens to everyone around them and values their opinions. And then he works to help everyone come to a decision together that they can all agree with. He never just decides on what songs should be in the set list himself or threatens to kick people out of the band. A great leader leads by creating consensus.

Cody [long pause]: I think I'll probably be a medium leader.

She doesn't really *get* nature.

Shannon is in Parsippany with Emma, leaving me and the big kids to a weekend of magical adventures. I planned some awesome stuff: Swimming on Saturday morning, followed by a drive out West to Luray Caverns. We'd explore the caverns, pan for gems, maybe play on the outdoor ropes course. Then, on Sunday, we'd go out to hike Great Falls. Go to the Lego Store. Maybe have dinner at the Olive Garden. You know. If we have time.

Instead, the weekend began with Cordelia developing a 103 degree fever just before midnight on Friday. Accompanied by nausea. We spent the night sleeping together on the floor in our bathroom.

Saturday morning, she strapped it on just enough to make it through Cody's swimming lesson, but then she was toast. Luray Caverns wasn't happening. Neither was much of anything else. So we improvised some adventure.

First up: We watched a lot of music videos. A lot. Primarily '80s rock. Lots of Bon Jovi and Guns 'n' Roses. Cody was so taken with Richie Sambora that during naptime, he and I built a cardboard replica of Sambora's 1959 Les Paul replica that he plays in many of the Bon Jovi videos. Pictured below:

After Cordelia awoke, still feverish and not really hungry, I decided to throw caution to the wind and introduce them to Star Wars. They loved it!

Things were not awesome on Sunday morning. Cordelia woke up still feeling punky and Cody's good-humor about having Luray Caverns delayed for a day turned to petulance at the idea of having it taken off the table altogether. But by noon, Cordelia felt okay enough. And that was the absolute last time we could leave for the outing. Determined to make the magic happen, we piled in the van and I drove us two hours west into the mountains.

At first, things went well. Here we are in line waiting to depart for the tour of the caverns:

Do note the backpacks, which contained water bottles, flash lights, stuff animals, rocks, rosaries, statues of Mary, and saline nose spray. Cordelia's probably weighed 8 pounds.

But it's all fun and games until the spelunking starts. Cordelia began crying and whining about two steps into the staircase that leads to the initial descent into the cavern. She was scared. She was tired. She thought we'd be trapped. She wanted to go home. She would refuse to go any further. It was awesome. Cody managed to coax her down the staircase. Once in the cavern, she gripped my hand with one of hers, stuck her other thumb into her mouth, and did the most aggressive silent pout I've ever seen.

The good news is, the tour was only a 1.25 mile underground loop and only took an hour and a half.

Cody was entranced by the majesty of nature:

Cordelia was . . . less so.

Luray has an amazing contraption called a stalac-pipe organ: It's an organ that makes sounds by hitting stalactites with tiny hammers, with each formation issuing a different note. Cordelia was not impressed.

At the end of the tour, we exited to the gift shop. Agate was purchased, to add to the growing collection at home. And so began the drive back to the exurbs. I asked them what their favorite part of Luray Caverns had been. Cody couldn't choose one. Cordelia, without hesitating, replied, "The gift shop."

Cody sighed and said--as God is my witness--"Cordelia doesn't really get nature, dad."

So true. So true.

Bonus: Nicholas has been returned from the Sally Winey Bear Hospital!

Cody and I were thrilled to have him home safe and good as new.

Cody & Cordelia: Behind the Music

Cody's guitar phase reached its apotheosis today. We're homebound, again. This time an ice storm, because Washington gives you all of the drudgery of winter, with none of its charm. After church, Cody asked if we could make him a guitar out of cardboard. And not just any guitar, but the same electric guitar that Keith Urban uses in the video for "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me."

So on to YouTube we went, freeze-framed the guitar, and went to work making a simulacrum from one of the giant boxes that always comes home from Costco. And then the concert began. Cody opened with a Bon Jovi cover, and was soon joined onstage by a Very Special Guest. And a legend was born:

The crowd went wild. But as with many bands that find instant success, creative differences plagued the duo.

Ultimately, the group papered over their differences in the name of art. Audiences across exurban northern Virginia thrilled as the band became one of those rare acts who achieve both popular and critical success. But tensions were never far from the surface. As the driving voice of the duo, Cody found himself pushing his creative limits from '80s arena rock to mainstream country. Cordelia resisted this evolution. And sometimes the clash of their artistic visions spilled out into public.

Following one particularly ugly incident at a show in Woodbridge, Cody and Cordelia were pushed to the brink. Years later, neither could be sure exactly what sparked the conflict. It might have been the juice, the pills, the exhaustion of life on the road and a lack of sleep. It might have been their long-simmering sibling rivalry. It might have been Cody's white-hot passion or Cordelia's black, black heart--the two qualities which made them such a riveting presence on stage. But both agreed that the dispute was always about more than the order of the set.

Whatever it was, it was Cody who brought up the unthinkable:

Yet despite everything, they eventually found a way to make their partnership work. Because they loved each other. And even more, they loved the music.

Who knows where this power-duo will go next. But wherever it is, a grateful world will be waiting to take the ride with them.

Thank you for joining us on C & C: Behind the Music. Enjoy this rare outtake from their pop-rap session: