Montessori Report, Day 6: Courtesy Slack, Bailey

Cody continues to put a brave face on his obvious unhappiness with this new phase in his life. Today when I picked him up, he fought off tears as he ran into my arms before informing me, with stiff upper lip, that he had "a great day at pre-school."

His courage under duress reminds me of a great piece from Outside magazine by Mark Jenkins about his best friend, Mike. The two grew up in Wyoming climbing mountains and kayaking rivers and generally doing the most dangerous thing they could find. They encouraged bravado in each other by enforcing a no-complaining rule, which they called "Courtesy Slack":

We were 16 and just learning how to climb and we made a pact that whining was prohibited. No matter how freaked you were, you had to keep your mouth shut. To enforce this rule Mike came up with a penalty called "courtesy slack": The belayer fed out extra rope—so you'd take a longer fall—whenever even a whimper was heard. Over the years, this bred a black, Brit-like humor in Mike. The more desperate the situation, the more he made fun of it: "It's absolutely grand—no handholds whatsoever" or "If the ice were only a wee bit thinner and more rotten I could actually enjoy myself." We were ripe with hubris. As far as we could tell we were indestructible.

I'm heartened to see Cody bucking up so manfully.

On the way home from school I asked if he had any buddies at Montessori. "Oh, yes," he assured me. I asked who his best buddy at Montessori was and he instantly replied, "Bailey." He then informed me of the following, under gentle questioning:

Bailey, it turns out, is a girl.

She is a big person, and even taller than Cody.

She is almost 5.

She is very kind.

Cody always sits next to her in line time.

And finally:

"I almost gave Bailey a hug today. But I did not. I did not think she would like a hug, so I did not give it to her.

I feel a little sorry for Bailey, who I suspect, through no fault of her own, has acquired a talkative, affectionate little shadow and who--someday soon--is sure to get an unsolicited hug.