Make Paradise...Tear Up A Parking Lot!

Sunday afternoon we ventured out to Occoquan to feed the ducks. We stopped in our tracks when we approached our usual parking lot. Behold.

They stayed in this pose for about 15 minutes, until we all started to shiver. (Cody later reported to Pop-Pop, "There were three excavators! They were digging up the parking lot to fix pipes! One was a Samsung! And there was an impact hammer! The workers were not there, though. It was Sunday. They were resting."

We then went to feed the ducks, who were continually accosted by accompanied by geese and seagulls. Watching their feeding methods was funny. Cody carefully tore up the bread, threw as hard as he could, tried to distribute his crumbs evenly and shouted encouragement: "Now ducks! Do good sharing! Use your manners, seagulls!" Cordelia, upon being given a whole slice of bread to tear, flung the entire thing into the river, then turned to Jonathan, pointed imperiously, and demanded exclaimed, "Have some more! More bread please! Give it to me. NOW!"

The best moment was when Cody, distracted by something, turned his head just in time to see a seagull fly at his face and grab a whole slice of bread out of his hands. He was too dumbfounded to be afraid, and so it struck him as hilariously funny. We just giggled and he said, "Mom! That seagull swooped down and just stole all my bread! He snatched it!" We then shouted "Stop, thief!" many times, each of them funnier than the last.

"Come back here! Stop, thief! Stop flying!"

Teach Your Children Well

On Monday night, as I was clearing up dinner, the kids were peacefully playing. For two minutes. They then started squabbling about something, and even from the kitchen I could sense that Cordelia was the aggressor. I decided to try to let them solve it themselves. The next thing I heard was a bloodcurdling scream and then an outraged cry of pain: "MOMMY! SHE BIT ME!"

Sigh.

I ran in, grabbed her and put her in time out and yelled--really yelled, to make my point--"NO BITING!" She burst into tears (which was rather the point) and for a few moments there was just screaming in all directions. We got Cody ice and he crawled, sobbing, into my lap. "Mommy! It hurts me so much. Thank you for standing up for me!" I assured him I would always stand up for him, and that no matter what had gone on, this was under no circumstances an acceptable way for her to solve the problem. I then glared at her again (still wailing) and said menacingly, "What does Mommy say about biting?"

With cheeks red as her hair, she screamed: "DON'T TEACH ME! I AM FUSSING!"

Well, clearly. It was all I could do not to fall over laughing. If this is what she tells me at 23 months of age, what will she be like when she's 13?

I then informed her she could not come down until she apologized. She yelled back, "NOT apologize!" Cody and I duly turned our backs and began cleaning up the Legos, which, as it turns out, were the source of tension (he had them, she grabbed them, he grabbed back, she unleashed her inner vampire). Not liking this at all, she shouted, "Ready to apologize!" I eyed her and she added a muted "Please."

And what ensued was so cute I wished I'd had a camera. I told her to hug him and apologize. (He looked pained at this.) She stepped gingerly over to him and he opened his arms, rather generously, given the circumstances. They hugged and she said, "I apologize. Sorry for biting you. SORRY ABOUT THAT!" Ever magnanimous, he replied, "I forgive you." She pouted. He added loftily, "And now you have to kiss me where you bit me."

She did.

Today, all seems to be patched over.

But to anyone who ever attempts to discipline this child, take heed: Don't teach her! She. IS. FUSSING!

Ears Clear!

I'm in Detroit visiting the Wenzels and JVL just took Cordelia for her follow-up...her ears are CLEAR! Here's the celebratory chocolate milk picture he sent me. I just love it. : )I'm in Detroit visiting the Wenzels and JVL just took Cordelia for her follow-up...her ears are CLEAR! Here's the celebratory chocolate milk picture he sent me. I just love it. : )

Cody Goes to the Dentist

Cody had his very first dentist appointment today. I'll admit, I was half-dreading it. He tends not to adore new "adventures" of that sort, and likes to be Fully Prepared For Exactly What Is Going To Happen, And In What Order. I did my best, and brought him to Julie, the single-best hygienist in the universe. She read him like a book. She explained everything, allowed him to touch everything, and let him push all the buttons -- the up and down chair, the mini-squirt gun, and of course, Mr. Thirsty--Cody's new best friend.

His big concern: "Is Mr. Thirsty also going to suck in my teeth? Will my teeth go down the straw? Because I would not like that." I assured him his teeth would stay firmly in place.

It made all the difference. He immediately relaxed and his innate curiosity and love of things with plugs and batteries overtook his initial nerves.

He was--to my pride and astonishment--an absolute trooper. I sat on the chair with him but Julie was so conversational that he just thought the whole thing was grand. His teeth look phenomenal and he was just darling. He thanked everyone profusely for making it all so much fun, and even fist-bumped the actual dentist on the way out.

Showdown

Cordelia was pisstastic this afternoon, almost from the moment she woke up. How bad was it? She decided to pick a fight with me, which she hardly ever does.

So we're in the playroom this afternoon while Cody is at the dentist with Shannon. She presents me with six blocks and instructs me to "Build a Tower."

JVL: Manners, young lady.

CML: Please. Build a tower. Now.

[I build her a pyramid tower, because I find them more interesting.]

[Cordelia promptly swats the entire thing aside in frustration.]

CML: No! Other tower! Tall tower! Build it!

JVL: Cordelia, that is not polite at all.

At this point, she glowers at me and fixes me with her sociopath-death stare. And she then reaches down, picks up the blocks from the tower, and casually throws them across the room, without breaking eye contact.

JVL: Young lady, when you throw things, they are all gone. I will take them away. Do you understand?

She kept her eyes on mine, but did not respond. Then my princess wordlessly moved about the playroom picking up every single object on the floor, looking directly at me, and then throwing. Every. Single. Thing.

Toys, bits of paper, blocks, spools of thread.

It took her nearly five minutes. She never said a word.

Three Little Monkeys (and one cute bundle)

Yesterday afternoon was actually on the warm side, so we ventured out with Kim, Violet, and Brenna and found a new playground! The Lawtons arrived first, and when Cody and Violet saw each other, they did their adorable running-to-each-other-like-long-lost-friends thing (even though it's only been a couple of weeks). Every time they do that, it melts my heart -- how sweet are those faces?

(The cutest part was that later, Cody told Jonathan that he saw Violet and "I ran to her and hugged her but this time I did not knock her over, Dad. I was really careful!" This hearkens back to October 2010 -- a year and a half ago! -- when he did knock her over after they ran toward each other. He hugged her so hard she went right over and bonked her head on a curb. She was, needless to say, very upset...but apparently he still feels badly about that and now embraces her quite gingerly. : ) Oh, if only he'd hug his sister that way.

Below, our swinging monkeys. Kim and I just wanted to reach out and tickle those exposed little tummies.


JVL, regarding the above: "They look like they're in a hamster habitat."

Cordelia tried to get in on the basketball hoop action but was rebuffed by the older, cooler kids. So she decided to go down the slide. In true Cordelia fashion, she went up it first.


Best part of the afternoon, though, was when Violet told me that when she grows up, she will have five babies. She has three names already picked out: 1) Brenna; 2) Skakalook (pronounced skak-uh-luke); and 3) Nappie.

Runner-up for funny comment went to Cody. He and Violet were playing restaurant and preparing "meals" for us (while unhappily trying to pry Cordelia off their waiter cart, into which she kept climbing, wanting to be pushed). After Kim had "eaten" her chicken salad, she requested dessert. Cody's solemn reply: "I'm sorry. We have to eat good food first." Kim: "But I ate my salad all up! I would really like some strawberry-rhubard pie now." Cody, ruefully: "You'll get what you get!"

I love these kids. : )

Hava Nagila

We like to bring Cody prizes from the places we go without him. Sometimes it's as simple as the key card from a hotel (which he calls his credit cards).

Last night went to a wonderful Jewish wedding.

CJP was delighted with his souvenir.

As a side note, when chatting last night with friends of ours who also have two toddlers -- 2 and 4 -- they let slip that both their kids had been suspended -- suspended! -- from preschool that week. We immediately felt like slightly more awesome parents. (Not to say it couldn't happen, especially when Birdie starts school, but it was something to add to the "at least this hasn't happened...yet" list.)

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In Memoriam

The other night, Cody asked out of nowhere, "Do you miss your Granny?" I said I always did. Sometimes more than others. Sometimes I would just like to sit and have tea with her again and listen to her wisdom. He asked where she was and if I would get to see her soon. I explained that no, probably not, because she lives up in heaven. He was troubled. "How long will it be until you see her?" Uh oh. This is not a topic I ever, ever want to talk about with my sensitive Cody. I told him it wouldn't be for a long, long, LONG, LONG while. He thought about it and said, "Does it make you sad that you will have to wait so long? I would be sad if I had to wait a very long time to see my Granny." I just gulped and turned around.

June 27, 1911 - February 16, 1996

Happy Valentine's Day!

Another year, another few hundred crow's feet. The best part of my day was coming home from work:

We then opened Granny's valentines: socks for all of us! Cordelia's were...stripey. Cody thought that JVL's socks were for him and immediately put them on. And hasn't taken them off, though they are approximately 10 sizes too big.

Cordelia was not satisfied with one pair of stripey socks. She tried them all on, and after awhile refused matching socks, preferring one foot to have one beautiful stripey sock and the other foot to have a different one. It went something like this: "Stripey socks! Granny sent them to you! Put them on. HAVE THEM ON! Take of these socks. PUT THOSE ON! And that OTHER ONE! I LOVE THEM. Look at meeee! I so beautiful."

It cracks me up on so many levels. To Cody or Jonathan, the thought of wearing mismatched socks on purpose is tantamount to voluntarily gouging out one's eye. Why would something DO such a senseless thing? : )

Male Bonding

Last July, we let Cody stay up to watch the fireworks. This year, we let him watch the beginning of the Super Bowl. It was everything JVL had hoped for (except for the Eagles winning it--or even being in it--part).

I always think of Robert Frost when I see a picture like this with Patches just there, not too far from whatever Cody's doing. CJP's take on "The Pasture" would be go something like this:

I’m going down to watch the game with Dad;
Though Mom would rather have me rest my head
(And try avoiding my bedtime, I may):
I sha’n’t be gone long.—You come too.

Meanwhile, the boys have been doing a lot of drilling lately. It started when we put up a cute little hook in Cordy's room. Jonathan decided to show Cody how to do "real" drilling (he brought his toy one up) and Cody did pretty well.

Naturally, the logical next step was to go to Lowe's, get some sawhorses (sigh) and a giant board, and take Cody out into the garage for the better part of an afternoon so he could "practice my drill speed control, Mommy!" (It is kind of genius, really--it's been way too cold to go outside yet this totally counts as an "outing.") He drew on the board with a pencil, then went to town...in his safety glasses.

I had a great picture of the actual drilling, but my phone erased it today, leaving me with just this one--but notice who else got matching safety glasses? (There would be no living with her otherwise.)

This one is just because.

Cockadoodle-doo!

I know I'm way behind. This will get rectified...soon? But real quick, before I forget...

I just went up to change a chatty Cordelia. I walked in to find all her pillows and blankets rearranged so she was "sleeping" at the foot of her bed. She grinned and said, "I am wet! Change you please." I did, and then tucked her back in. She said earnestly, "No go to bed. Not time yet. I am awake!" I told her that was okay, but it was time to rest quietly, with no more talking or singing. She thought a second, then whispered earnestly, "Not time to go to bed! Cockadoodle-doo!"

Why must they take me so literally?

"Why don't you guys go play in the garden?"

He's Come Undone

About a month back, we got a notice from Cody's school to save the date for the annual "Winter Program." I asked Cody several times what it was all about, but he would always grin mischievously, and say, "You will find out everything at the concert. Until then it is a secret from you." I would hear him singing when he thought I wasn't listening (or forgot he has a monitor in his room) but he would always clam up when I asked him what he was singing. He began counting down the days to "The Performance on the Big High School Stage," as he referred to it. No one was more ready than he. We got dressed in his regulation rainbow wear (he was representing Yellow) and before we headed out, I tucked Cardinal, his trusty pocket pal, into his pocket -- just in case.

Here he is, practicing the "Months of the Year" song, in Spanish, on the way to the big show:

He was relaxed, excited, trembling with happy anticipation all the way there.

And here he is with his guests of honor, Kelly and Mark.

We arrived at The Big Stage and he got a sense of the room. But had no actual idea of what would happen or what singing on the big stage would be like, as his class was first. The initial excitement was contagious...

Then came the actual performance. I walked Cody backstage to line up with his classmates. This is when he started getting nervous.

When it was time to file onstage, his face crumpled. His confidence left him in one shudder. As I left him filing onto the risers, I could see his shoulders beginning to shake. I raced to the front of the auditorium, where I stood shamelessly blocking the cameras of what I assume were many irritated parents, because My Child Needed Me. It was one of those moments. I locked eyes with him the whole time, nodding madly, trying to will him to equilibrium by excessive double-thumbs-upping and grinning not unlike the Joker. He stared at me with wild-eyed-horse panic. He couldn't get a breath. It was all too much. After a moment, I noticed his hand plunge into his pocket and clutch Cardinal in desperation. "Thank you, Lord -- and Grandma Robbie! " I whispered to myself. " (A disgruntled parent with a video camera shot me a dark look. Yeah, 'cause it was so silent in that auditorium already.)

I think it might have been the only thing that helped him not sit down and sob.

It didn't help that they hadn't done a sound check. He hyperventilated through the first three songs, hands stiff at his sides, gulping for air, tears streaming down his cheeks.

But when it came time for the next three -- which involved music -- the CD player or speakers weren't working. So they decided to shut the curtain rather than have the kids stand there looking bored. They jerked them back open a second later, and the terror on Cody's face told me why.

But then they started again, haltingly, and little by little he began to sing. (And sign. Apparently he's learning sign language and Spanish. Who knew?)

By the final song, he was not smiling, but singing. I could hear Ms. Leavesley say to them, "Sing loud and strong!" And suddenly, Cody's voice rose above the crowd as he bellowed, "WHEN WE WORK TOGETHER, IT'S SUCH A SIGHT TO SEEEEEEEE....THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL WHEN WE LIVE IN HARMONY!"

He practically flew into my arms the second they were released, and sobbed into my hair, "Mommy, I really en-en-en-joyed that! I was a-a-a-mazing! I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEE!"

We had a much better time watching the other classes "perform." Best line of the night went to Cody, though, who had this to say about this little girl's homemade Hawaiian "grass skirt":

"Mom? Why is that little girl wearing a car wash? Her car wash is falling down."

ENCORE!

PS: Kelly, that headline is a double-entendre. For those of you who don't know the double part, we spent a good five minutes--two or three entire songs--watching a boy in one class staring downward and fiddling persistently...apparently his button and/or fly had popped open just before the curtains rose, and you've never seen a kid with more determination than he had, trying patiently to fix it while everyone else sang and flapped and whatnot.