Postcards From The Edge

Let's just say I have no photos, because there has been nothing remotely photogenic about the past week. A recap:

Thursday, 10:00 p.m - Friday, 7:59 a.m.
CML: My ear hurts me! It hurts me! It is so uncomfortable! It hurts me Mommy!
SLL: I know, baby. As soon as the doctor's office opens we will get you there. I have to go to Mother's Day at Cody's school but Daddy will take you, I promise.
CML: The doctor is sleeping! He is not awake! He will wake up soon and give me medicine! Please make my ear all better! I cannot sleep!
SLL: We will just cuddle.
CML: It hurts me!

Saturday, 7:00 p.m. - Sunday, 5:00 a.m.
CJP: Cough. Hack. Cough. Cough. Mommy! I can't sleep! It hurts so much! My chest hurts! My face hurts! Hack. Cough. Cough. Cough.

Tuesday, 11:30 p.m. - Wednesday, 6:00 a.m.
CJP: Mom! I have a headache!
SLL: That's unusual for you. Let's get some Motrin. You know what? I don't feel good either. I have a horrible earache. I wonder if this is what Cordelia felt like the other night. The good news is that her medicine made her feel better. So maybe you and I need some medicine, too. Let's just try to get through the night.

a little while later
CJP, crying: Mom! It hurts me! I cannot take it! I cannot make it through the night. It hurts too much to sleep! It's my EAR!
Me: You know what? Me too. Me too. The doctor will open at 8:00. I'll take you right away. We'll get this sorted out. We can go to my doctor too. I'll stay home tomorrow. Let's just cuddle and keep each other company and try to rest.

three minutes later
CJP: MOM! [insert sound of vomiting, crying, and screaming]
Me: Oh, my poor buddy.
CJP: Mom! I threw up on Bidi! I am so miserable! I am so sorry I threw up all over your head and your body!
Me: It's not a problem. It's going to be okay. Once you're all done we'll get in the shower. It's okay. Daddy will wash Bidi. And...everything else. Wow. Thank God for Daddy. Okay. We can do this. Let's go get cleaned up.
CJP: I hate throwing up! It is horrible!
Me: Disgusting! Grosstastic! Awful!
CJP: Nasty! Yucky! Terrible-fying! Miserable!
Me: That's the spirit.

in the shower, roughly 1:45 a.m.
Me: Cody, since we're in here, I'd like you to take this washcloth and really blow your nose. You're congested and it will be better to blow it all out than sniff it into your tummy. Just try to get it out.
CJP, seriously: Oh Mommy, I think I should wait until you step out of the tub. I would not want to share my germs with you!

This earnest concern for my well-being, even as I am literally scraping the contents of his stomach off of my body and washing his dinner out of my hair. I will never, never forget it.

in the bathroom, roughly 2:30 a.m.
Me: JVL? You guys can't sleep all night on the bathroom floor. I've done it. It's horrible.
JVL: We'll be fine. We have the super big memory bathmats from Costco that you mocked me for buying. They are paying for themselves as we speak.
Me: You are my hero. For so many reasons. Can I get you a pillow?
JVL: Sure, why not?
CJP: Mom, Dad made me a nest. I have my pillow, too. The one I did not throw up on. We are having a campout. Until I throw up again.

roughly 6:30 a.m.
Me: I'm going to the doctor. I can't take it anymore. My ear is going to explode.
CJP: Will my ear explode too?!
Me: It's just an expression. I'll meet you and Daddy at the pediatrician in an hour.

roughly 7:05
Doctor: Whoa. Your ear looks horrible.
me: Yes. I thought it might.

roughly 8:10
CJP: Hi Dr. Caplan! I have been counting backward all night until you woke up. I have a problem. My ear hurts me so, so badly! And, I threw up over and over! And, I did not sleep.
Dr. Caplan: Let's look in that ear. [peers in] Oh dear. Cody, it looks like you have a really, really big boo-boo in there.
CJP: You mean I have an ear infection, I think. Probably you should prescribe me some antibiotics.
Dr. Caplan, stifling a laugh: Yes. I will do that.
CJP: Amoxicillin maybe?
Dr. Caplan to me: I'm surprised it didn't burst. It's pretty bad. It still might. That's not a huge deal though.
Me, gaping: It's NOT?
Dr. Caplan: You guys all have the same thing. It's rare to have contagious ear infections but you have a virus that does just that. He threw up because the pain and pressure were so bad. Happens to people who get terrible migraines. The body's response is to vomit. Don't worry, antibiotics will knock it out. They'll be good as new.
CJP: That's great. Thanks so much for taking care of me! I'm glad I will not throw up anymore. Have a great day!

roughly 9:10
Me, to pharmacist: Here you go.
Pharmacist: Um, ma'am, I actually need your insurance card.
Me, staring at the Panera gift card I just handed him: Of course you do. I'm sorry. I've been awake since yesterday at 4:30. Also I didn't sleep Saturday night. Or last Thursday. Hence all the medicines on your computer screen.
Pharmacist: I can see that. [pause] I still need your insurance card.
Me: Oh. Right. Here. Wait, no. This one.

sometime in the middle of all this
CJP, touching my leg: Mom? I think you need to shave your legs.
Me: Yeah, I know. I've been kind of busy, though, Cody. You know. I haven't really had time to worry about that.
CJP: I know Mom. But you really might want to do that soon.
Me: I'll take that under advisement. I love you, Cody.
CJP: To the moon and back!