Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Someday it will be funny

The other morning, cuddling in bed at some ungodly hour...

Cody: Mom? You really need to shave your legs.
Me: Yes. Yes, I know. I just haven't had time to get around to that, buddy.
Cody: I really think you should make time, because they are out of control.
Me: Thanks for the advice, honey.
Cody: Mom? Why do men have whiskers on their faces, and ladies have whiskers on their legs?
Me: Can we maybe go back to sleep for five minutes?
Cody: But I'm totally awake.

Today, 11:30 a.m.
Me: Cordy, did you apologize to Jacob for throwing that mulch at him yesterday?
CML: Oh yes, Mom! I looked him right in the eyes and I said, 'Jacob, I'm sorry for throwing that mulch at you last time, and forgetting my manners.' And we shook hands and he said he forgives me.
Me: That's awesome. Well done. I'm really proud of you. And now it's in the past! It's a good feeling when you apologize and can move on.

Today, 3:45 p.m.
Me: Cody, Cordelia told me about how she apologized to Jacob about you guys throwing that mulch yesterday. Did you also say you were sorry?
Cody, visibly upset: She didn't apologize! I did! I apologized for both of us! I looked him right in the eyes and said I was sorry for throwing mulch at him and forgetting my manners, and we shook hands and he said he forgives me. Cordelia just stood there! She did NOT apologize to him! She lied to you!
Me: Cora, is this true?
CML: Is what part true?
Me, visibly upset: Did you tell me the truth about apologizing to Jacob?
CML: Yes, I told you the truth. 
Cody: MOM! SHE IS LYING AGAIN! SHE JUST LOOKS AT YOU AND LIES!
Me: Cordelia! Did you tell me the truth?!
CML: No, I lied. But I'm sorry, so now it's in the past! 

Today, 5:45 p.m, as I am scraping cereal bar off the unspeakably nasty rug at Chuck-E-Cheese, where we had to go for a school fundraiser and I fed Emma her dinner: 

Annabella (a child in Cody's class), visibly upset: Um, Cody's mom?
Me: What is it, kiddo?
Annabella: Well, there's something really wrong with your neck! You have something green all over your neck. And the back of your neck too!
Me, after a little exploration: Oh, goodness. That's just paint, honey. From this morning. Before school. Funny that you're the first person to mention it. 

Today, 7:45 p.m., as I lift out the garbage to take it outside and the bottom falls out, and the trash spills all over the floor:
Me: F*%$. 

2 comments:

Granny said...

Dying here!!!!!

Kelly Pruden said...

Finally catching up. Awesome.